How do you deal with problems in life?
Every door of my life is filled with grief.
Those demons are taking my soul like a thief.
Loneliness is killing me day by day.
Filling me with fear and dismay.
I don't want to live alone.
I don't feel my life like my own.
I don't want to live anymore.
I have been broken and shattered to the core.
I don’t know about my fate
Negative thoughts have captivated me in a cage
I know everybody can relate
Staring at the dark wall, thinking about past and smoking Lage
Life is hard.
Life is unfair.
We all have heard these lines.
There are some moments which have been already written in our fate.
These moments will make us helpless, powerless and depress.
You will be at your lowest when these moments will come.
Nobody will come to help you.
Nobody will care about your sadness.
You will be alone in a dark room thinking about your past and using “what if”, “I wish I had “these kinds of phrases to give yourself temporary relief.
This is how difficult times look like.
We all have been through difficult times.
Failures, loss, heartbreak are a part of our life.
No matter who you are, you have to go through these situations in one way or other.
Now the question arises, how do we tackle these situations?
How can we stay strong?
How can we get through these situations?
These kinds of situations affect us in three ways
“Physically, emotionally and mentally".
These three are inter-related to each other.
In some way or the other, if you are physically not stable you are mentally not stable too.
Whenever difficult times comes in our life, they make us weak and vulnerable.
So how can we stay strong physically, mentally and emotionally?
The first and most important step.
Start repeating these words.
” this shall too pass".
No matter how big a problem is, it will pass.
Remember, nothing lasts forever.
Write it down on a paper,” this too shall pass.
I will come as a strong person”.
Words have the power to heal someone.
The second step is to find something that will keep you busy.
Find a hobby so that whenever you are free, negative thoughts don’t engulf your mind.
Because past will always try to haunt back.
Start reading spiritual and self-improvement/motivational books.
They will open your mind and will change your perspective regarding life.
You will start seeing life from a different view.
The third step is to use your pain as fuel.
Most people start self-loathing and victimizing themselves rather than using that pain as a fuel to transform themselves in a positive way.
This step is for those who are going through business failure.
Start analyzing your past mistakes.
Maybe you invested low or your employees were not happy from you or your goal is something which is beyond your limit.
Start from low.
This year your revenue growth must be 15 lakh if your last year revenue was 5 lakh.
Then next year it will be 30-40 lakh.
Remember baby steps help you to reach your goal.
These steps can minimize the pain you are going through.
In the end, it’s up to you, how you will take action towards your problems.
Life will break you to the core.
Leaving you alone in the shore.
Life won't be the same as before.
Use your pain as a fuel
You have come to this world to rule.
In 2014, I took a trip to Cameroon to visit my aunt.
She had breast cancer and was going through chemotherapy.
I wanted to give her moral support and tell her everything was going to be ok.
Unfortunately, when I went to visit her, I could not hold back my tears when I saw her.
She looked so different and all I thought of in that moment was to give her a hug and not let go.
My aunt then looked at me and asked me, ‘’ Eddy why are you crying? Don’t you know that I am ok? I had my good days and this is just a bad period.
Like every bad period, I will just have to go through it and then a good one will come’’.
I told her I know she will be ok, but it is just difficult seeing her like this.
The chemotherapy had made her look so tired, she could barely walk.
She went on again and this time with a smile, she told me ‘’Stop crying as if I am dying the next second, don’t you know that life is so unpredictable? you could walk out of this house and get hit by a car and I will be the one coming for your burial.
Anyway Eddy, I just want you to be positive, no tears here, we are all alive so let us be grateful’’.
The example was a bit strange but I understood what my aunt was trying to teach me in that moment and she was right.
Life is indeed very unpredictable, one moment everything is ok and the next moment we can receive a phone call that will make us feel like our lives have no more meaning.
We all have those bad days.
Life is a balance.
There will be bad days for sure but the good days will come and vice versa.
Understanding that for every sunrise there will be a sunset and for every bad day there will be a good day is the way I choose to see life.
When I go through a difficult situation, I start smiling because for me that is just a sign that something good is on its way.
It's a sign that I am alive and there is hope.
Acknowledging that life does not always owe us happiness is the best way for me to go through difficult moments, after all, it is often said the most difficult exam is life.
Of course, we can try to find ways around some tough moments, but that is only when there is a solution.
You can only control what you can control.
So how do you overcome difficult life situations? To me, the answer is knowing that they will eventually be over sooner or later and something much better will overshadow the sorrow.
While fighting and waiting for the good days to come, cultivate patience and gratefulness and when the good days come, make sure you enjoy them to the fullness because the memory of them is what will keep you going when next you have a bad day.
A problem is not a problem unless we have a problem with the problem…… -Gokul krishna
This irony can be of great help….
We live in a busy world….
When you look around….
What do you see….
Nothing much to explain but in a single word , what do you see around is just “Problems”….
This problem… that problem….
His problem… her problem….
Ah… fed up!.
come on let's find a way out from the problems of problems….
First, just look at you left palm….
All yours fingers there….
5… Yup! (Special cases 6 or more!) Now just collapse your thumb….
Now How many? ….
No!… Even though one finger is not upright there are 5 fingers….
Right! This is how people see problems….
They might be simple and could find a solution with a closer watch…
Before solving your problem….
Try to understand what actually is your problem… or say, actually do you have that problem? Or are you affected by that….
o k … i know it takes time….
Take your time… think once… No!….
You need to think about it around 587.
In the last .
15th time you will get the solution……
Thinking is worse than your problem? Then no tension….
You don't actually have a problem….
When your problem needs a solution….
You will think….
Think… and think….
No way out of it right….
Now ending all my Introduction part….
Moving on to solve your problem….
Problems can be solved in many ways…
Firstly, Try knowing your problem….
Rather running for the solution….
“There are no problems without solution”
What I do is I first try to understand what the problem is and whether the problem is really a problem.
Much of what we consider to be a problem is really nothing serious and can resolve on its own.
It’s just that we have a tendency to react in stressful situations rather than to respond.
Reacting means to take sudden unplanned actions.
To respond means to carefully and calmly approach a problem and then to make a rational decision concerning the following plan of action.
Nevertheless, what helps me a lot to deal with problems is the famous Eisenhower’s urgent important principle.
Usually, it is referred to in the context of daily tasks, but it helps me when I think of problems too.
Basically, your tasks or problems can be divided into four categories:
When dealing with problems, try not to panic.
Do your best to solve it, but if you can’t, then let it take its natural course.
If it turns out to be some kind of failure outside of your control, try to learn from it as much as possible and to use that acquired wisdom in the future.
Hope this helps.