How can I as a female writer write realistically from a male point of view

How can I, as a female writer, write realistically from a male point of view?

I have a colleague who likes to play a guessing game: whenever we are grading papers and find a good student he claims that he can guess whether this is a man or a woman before looking at the name, because, even when writing objectively, something of our gender is hardwired into our style.
The same colleague has often raised the question of whether we really can write convincingly in the voice of the opposite gender, because don’t we just project our fantasies of what a man or woman could be like onto a character?
In some ways I think writers do do this.
Charlotte and Emily Bronte were clearly a bit infatuated with the stereotype of the overly severe, brooding man, something that the more realistic Anne evidently didn’t share:
Indeed, Tolstoy and Flaubert (and countless other male writers) were drawn to the overly sensual and attractive female figure who cannot help but give in to her desires.
She is a tragic figure but she is also particularly appealing to men…there are other ways in which a woman could be tragic that such writers never really explored.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with that though: a writer is always standing half outside of a character, providing us with one angle on who the person is.
Can we really get entirely into anyone’s head even when we are writing in their words, be they male or female? All that we can do provide is impressions.
It is possible that my colleague is right – that for whatever reason, social or genetic, we can’t escape our gender in our language and in our thoughts.
My advice would be to embrace that.
Don’t worry too much about whether a man is ‘convincingly male’.
Worry more about whether his words come naturally, whether he feels real to you.
Because, if he does, the chances are that he will feel real to countless others as well.
That is why Heathcliff may or may not be exaggerated but certainly is hauntingly alive.
It’s why the gorgeous and seductive Francesca in the fifth circle of Dante’s hell continues to haunt and to draw us all with her words:
"Love, that can quickly seize the gentle heart,
 took hold of him because of the fair body
 taken from me – how that was done still wounds me.

 Love, that releases no beloved from loving,
 took hold of me so strongly through his beauty
 that, as you see, it has not left me yet.

 Love led the two of us unto one death.

 Caina waits for him who took our life.
" (Inf.
V, 100-107)

How can I, as a female writer, write realistically from a male point of view?
What do you think J.
K.
Rowling did when she (note the female pronoun!) wrote “Harry Potter”?? I seem to recall that series was somewhat successful.
:)
She has an interesting quote about this.
She said that if she wrote a female lead for a YA novel, then girls would read it but boys wouldn’t.
But if she wrote a male lead, then both boys and girls would read it.
But as for specific writing advice, consider this… This actually came up at my last writer’s critique group.
Do males think of themselves primarily as people, and only secondly as males, or vice-versa? And how do women view themselves?
And the opinion of most was that males are more likely to think of themselves as just people, most of the time, whereas it’s more common for women to rarely forget their gender.
That is, if you walk around in a male body, it’s common to think of yourself as just “a guy” rather than a “male guy,” until someone reminds you of that fact or you look in the mirror.
Obviously, that’s not true all the time.
There are plenty of situations where you have to identify yourself as belonging to this gender or that.
And anyone who is not secure in their sexuality may obssess about their gender identity.
But those of us who are more secure, think “I’m just a person” most of the time.
There is one very big exception to this.
As a dude, you’re not really biologically reminded of your gender most of the time… you can’t give birth, and you don’t have a monthly cycle.
But emotionally you are reminded.
This happens primarily in two situations:
Thats’ about it.
If you want to avoid cliches, have your male characters walk around just thinking of themselves as “a guy,” or rather “a person” — but a person who feels more outward pressure to compete, to win, and to get a girl than other humans do.
Also, we have just as many emotions as women do, but we’re not allowed to show them very much.
That makes good fodder for the really skilled writer of fiction and dramatic non-fiction.
To write a great male character, just write a character who inside is a cauldron of emotions but outwardly has to act brave, strong, and calm.
You’ll even see some of that in the way that JK Rowling characterized Harry Potter.
One other thing.
Males not only compete with each other, but do so very openly.
That is, males will confront each other and “get it over,” sometimes even going back to be friends with someone they had a gripe with.
I have heard that women, by contrast, compete and backstab just as much, but less openly and more subtely.
In cliche’ terms, men are knights, women diplomats, but both can be either good or bad.
Hope this helps.

I think I can answer this one.
:)
You see, my daytime work is an engineer.
And in our field, most of the key players are men.
With regards to the proportion of male to female, there are about 7 males to 1 female, and sometimes, the only female on the room (especially at meetings) is you.
(BTW, I do not mean to downgrade female capabilities, it is just my observation.
)
Aside from this, I am also a bit of a tomboy, engaging in activities that men are usually fond of: mountaineering, playing video games, etc.
And whenever I hike, there are only a handful of female participants.
I can only give you one advice, and this is important.
The only way for you to know them is to observe them.

No, you do not need to interact directly with them.
Just observe them.
And you will see the great difference as to how men are portrayed of.
Extra tip: If you are writing a romance novel, please do not put female attributes to men.
There are some exceptions (especially when they’re drunk), but most of them are not teary-eyed, affectionate, emotional human beings.
Most of them do not attend to empowerment meetings or watch tear-jerker movies.
They are okay with a football match, some popcorn, and a couple of beers to analyze and solve (sometimes escape) their problems.

Talk to people, read males writers, use your imagination.
I have the reverse, my writing is a gentle romance charting the lives and adventures of a young couple from their meeting and their developing relationship.
I have had three female acquaintances read it and all like it so I seem to be getting in right basing her on people I know, stories I have read and my imagination.
Men and women are basically the same, it is more important to be constant in how they react to situations rather than what that reaction is.
Stereotypically men tend to base responses on practical considerations and women on emotional ones, but some men are more emotionally based and some women practically so, just make them generally consistent, but not boring, everyone bowls a curved ball sometimes and acts unpredictably.
We are all individuals at the end of it all.
Happy to correspond by email if you want to run stuff past me, not than I am an expert writer, but I am a man!
I would caveat that I don't identify as alpha or beta male, more your lone wolf, I don't compete with other males, all that bullshit bores me, I plough my own furrow, don't give a damn if others like that or not, am quite detached from society, more an observer than a participant, probably helps in writing.
I play the game if I need to.

First off men are people with people feelings.
A lot of women forget that.
(Ditto with a lot of men about women)
Men have the same feelings, even if they don’t feel they can express them.
This can make the feelings even stronger.
Then those feelings get stepped on and reinforced because other people don’t know you’re having them.
Letting other people know can be seen as weak (by both men AND women).
Men live an ostracized life in comparison to women.
If my wife wears a funny T-shirt, she’ll have multiple people (men and women) comment on it and start a conversation over the course of the day.
I’ve worn the very same shirt dozens of times without a single comment or conversation.
When it comes to sex, while women may tend (making broad generalizations here! Mileage varies!) to think of sex as something you do once you’re bonded and connected, men think of sex as part of the bonding and connecting process.
Most of the confusion and hurt between men and women come from that.

Find out what pisses men off.
For example, sperm-jacking.
Do you know what that is? It’s when a woman deceives a man so she can get pregnant with his sperm.
You’re snuggling close to a cute girl.
Her Victoria’s Secret lotion is making your heart beat faster.
She presses into your body.
You’re trying to focus on the movie, it’s a pretty good show, Dead Pool kicks ass, but now you’re hard, hot, and horny and nothing else matters anymore.
She says, “Do you have a condom?”
DAMN IT! Why didn’t a pick up a pack.
But, wait, she doesn’t care.
She tells you, you can just pull out.
Wait, but, wait, but, maybe a disease, a kid, hell no! I can’t afford kids, and do I really want her to be the mother of my children, what about my career, still want to visit New Orleans for Mardi Gras? Nah, I’m not ready.
“How about a blow job?”
No harm no foul, right?
Two weeks later you get slapped with a court summoned paternal test.
You’re the father! WHAT? How? It was just a blow job!
“Your honor I never had sex with her!”
The judge looks at you, then at her, nods his head, and says, “Should of thought that before you decided to GIFT her your semen.

Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Are you on bizarro land? Gift her your semen? Is that a thing in 2011?
You get drunk that night.
Stumble through the streets, watching the news play through store windows, hoping for a sympathetic ear, but all you get is, “You can't have sex, then claim you're "not ready" when, for whatever reason, a problem occurs.

Are you angry yet? If not, then keep reading articles you think males would rage over.

When I write about women, I think about what pisses them off.
I learn their language like stealthing- when a man removes a condom while having sex to impregnate his girlfriend without her consent – then I write the story when I feel her anger the most.
If you know someone’s anger, you’ll understand their hate.
And if you understand their hate, you can visualize their motivation.

Know well a variety of male humans of various ages, from various cultures and social classes, and don't rely on stereotypes to supply their motivations and responses.
Male writers use the same process to write female characters well: know some actual women as friends.
Oddly, though, most writers do a better job of writing outside their gender than they do of writing outside their social class and culture.
So many university writers can only write nonuniversity characters as shallow stereotypes.
They forget that working as a roofer or dishwasher or typist or waiter, then keeping the friends made on the job, are vital parts of becoming a fiction writer.

It’s the same thing with guys writing girls.
A good, strong character should be the same if you switch genders.
If your character’s personality depends on their gender, then you’re doing it wrong.
That being said, guys tend to be more about fighting with strength, while girls tend to fight more with words.
Yes, it sounds stereotypical, but stereotypes come from somewhere.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a diplomatic male nor a warrior female, just that societal norms affect them in that way in most cases.
I would study psychology and gender differences (not the biased/agenda-filled classes, I mean the ones that are simply about the facts), however you don’t have to.
If you really want to, ask a trusted guy-friend and/or boyfriend/husband if your character seems realistic.
Guys and girls aren’t too different.

There is no such thing as a “male point of view.
” Indeed, in and context outside of a theoretical conversation about creative writing, the idea of a “male point of view” is as sexist as talking about “what women want.

Individual characters have points of view.
Write your character's point of view from who they are.
Gender and gender relations may or may not be significant in that, but it should not be a point of departure.
Worry a lot more about what you know about the character's personal history, their qualities, their values, their desires.
Some of those will be affected by gender, but not based upon it.

Before you think about writing them, you really have to put yourself in the shoes of a man.
One issue is that many men are written as one dimensional.
They are aggressive, a very “manly” man.
Or, they are written with a sort of pushover characteristic.
They are outcasts and the female lead feels bad for them, helps them, etc.
You need to break from these stereotypes and develop a round rather than flat character.
Consider forgetting about their gender temporarily.
Write them as you would a female, but GENERALLY, make them a bit less emotional.
Men really aren’t that different than women.

Place yourself in a males a shoes.
How do men think? I’ve done it with writing pop song lyrics, imagined a girl’s perspective on them.
I’m sure you know or have an inkling of how you think men think? Use it! As a female writer you already have a leg up on a male writer, it’s called women’s intuition, use it! Enjoy! Robert

Ii will add a non-answer.
They went on a date, it went great, he said he would call her, then he didn’t.
Possible male behavior, and she dealt with it.
The thing is, he was just a plot device.
I never thought about why he didn’t call.
And when I did, that improved a lot.
So, don’t think of your males as plot devices.
Just trying to take their point of view will help.

How can I, as a female writer, write realistically from a male point of view?

I have a colleague who likes to play a guessing game: whenever we are grading papers and find a good student he claims that he can guess whether this is a man or a woman before looking at the name, because, even when writing objectively, something of our gender is hardwired into our style.
The same colleague has often raised the question of whether we really can write convincingly in the voice of the opposite gender, because don’t we just project our fantasies of what a man or woman could be like onto a character?
In some ways I think writers do do this.
Charlotte and Emily Bronte were clearly a bit infatuated with the stereotype of the overly severe, brooding man, something that the more realistic Anne evidently didn’t share:
Indeed, Tolstoy and Flaubert (and countless other male writers) were drawn to the overly sensual and attractive female figure who cannot help but give in to her desires.
She is a tragic figure but she is also particularly appealing to men…there are other ways in which a woman could be tragic that such writers never really explored.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with that though: a writer is always standing half outside of a character, providing us with one angle on who the person is.
Can we really get entirely into anyone’s head even when we are writing in their words, be they male or female? All that we can do provide is impressions.
It is possible that my colleague is right – that for whatever reason, social or genetic, we can’t escape our gender in our language and in our thoughts.
My advice would be to embrace that.
Don’t worry too much about whether a man is ‘convincingly male’.
Worry more about whether his words come naturally, whether he feels real to you.
Because, if he does, the chances are that he will feel real to countless others as well.
That is why Heathcliff may or may not be exaggerated but certainly is hauntingly alive.
It’s why the gorgeous and seductive Francesca in the fifth circle of Dante’s hell continues to haunt and to draw us all with her words:
"Love, that can quickly seize the gentle heart,
 took hold of him because of the fair body
 taken from me – how that was done still wounds me.

 Love, that releases no beloved from loving,
 took hold of me so strongly through his beauty
 that, as you see, it has not left me yet.

 Love led the two of us unto one death.

 Caina waits for him who took our life.
" (Inf.
V, 100-107)

How can I, as a female writer, write realistically from a male point of view?
What do you think J.
K.
Rowling did when she (note the female pronoun!) wrote “Harry Potter”?? I seem to recall that series was somewhat successful.
:)
She has an interesting quote about this.
She said that if she wrote a female lead for a YA novel, then girls would read it but boys wouldn’t.
But if she wrote a male lead, then both boys and girls would read it.
But as for specific writing advice, consider this… This actually came up at my last writer’s critique group.
Do males think of themselves primarily as people, and only secondly as males, or vice-versa? And how do women view themselves?
And the opinion of most was that males are more likely to think of themselves as just people, most of the time, whereas it’s more common for women to rarely forget their gender.
That is, if you walk around in a male body, it’s common to think of yourself as just “a guy” rather than a “male guy,” until someone reminds you of that fact or you look in the mirror.
Obviously, that’s not true all the time.
There are plenty of situations where you have to identify yourself as belonging to this gender or that.
And anyone who is not secure in their sexuality may obssess about their gender identity.
But those of us who are more secure, think “I’m just a person” most of the time.
There is one very big exception to this.
As a dude, you’re not really biologically reminded of your gender most of the time… you can’t give birth, and you don’t have a monthly cycle.
But emotionally you are reminded.
This happens primarily in two situations:
Thats’ about it.
If you want to avoid cliches, have your male characters walk around just thinking of themselves as “a guy,” or rather “a person” — but a person who feels more outward pressure to compete, to win, and to get a girl than other humans do.
Also, we have just as many emotions as women do, but we’re not allowed to show them very much.
That makes good fodder for the really skilled writer of fiction and dramatic non-fiction.
To write a great male character, just write a character who inside is a cauldron of emotions but outwardly has to act brave, strong, and calm.
You’ll even see some of that in the way that JK Rowling characterized Harry Potter.
One other thing.
Males not only compete with each other, but do so very openly.
That is, males will confront each other and “get it over,” sometimes even going back to be friends with someone they had a gripe with.
I have heard that women, by contrast, compete and backstab just as much, but less openly and more subtely.
In cliche’ terms, men are knights, women diplomats, but both can be either good or bad.
Hope this helps.

I think I can answer this one.
:)
You see, my daytime work is an engineer.
And in our field, most of the key players are men.
With regards to the proportion of male to female, there are about 7 males to 1 female, and sometimes, the only female on the room (especially at meetings) is you.
(BTW, I do not mean to downgrade female capabilities, it is just my observation.
)
Aside from this, I am also a bit of a tomboy, engaging in activities that men are usually fond of: mountaineering, playing video games, etc.
And whenever I hike, there are only a handful of female participants.
I can only give you one advice, and this is important.
The only way for you to know them is to observe them.

No, you do not need to interact directly with them.
Just observe them.
And you will see the great difference as to how men are portrayed of.
Extra tip: If you are writing a romance novel, please do not put female attributes to men.
There are some exceptions (especially when they’re drunk), but most of them are not teary-eyed, affectionate, emotional human beings.
Most of them do not attend to empowerment meetings or watch tear-jerker movies.
They are okay with a football match, some popcorn, and a couple of beers to analyze and solve (sometimes escape) their problems.

Talk to people, read males writers, use your imagination.
I have the reverse, my writing is a gentle romance charting the lives and adventures of a young couple from their meeting and their developing relationship.
I have had three female acquaintances read it and all like it so I seem to be getting in right basing her on people I know, stories I have read and my imagination.
Men and women are basically the same, it is more important to be constant in how they react to situations rather than what that reaction is.
Stereotypically men tend to base responses on practical considerations and women on emotional ones, but some men are more emotionally based and some women practically so, just make them generally consistent, but not boring, everyone bowls a curved ball sometimes and acts unpredictably.
We are all individuals at the end of it all.
Happy to correspond by email if you want to run stuff past me, not than I am an expert writer, but I am a man!
I would caveat that I don't identify as alpha or beta male, more your lone wolf, I don't compete with other males, all that bullshit bores me, I plough my own furrow, don't give a damn if others like that or not, am quite detached from society, more an observer than a participant, probably helps in writing.
I play the game if I need to.

First off men are people with people feelings.
A lot of women forget that.
(Ditto with a lot of men about women)
Men have the same feelings, even if they don’t feel they can express them.
This can make the feelings even stronger.
Then those feelings get stepped on and reinforced because other people don’t know you’re having them.
Letting other people know can be seen as weak (by both men AND women).
Men live an ostracized life in comparison to women.
If my wife wears a funny T-shirt, she’ll have multiple people (men and women) comment on it and start a conversation over the course of the day.
I’ve worn the very same shirt dozens of times without a single comment or conversation.
When it comes to sex, while women may tend (making broad generalizations here! Mileage varies!) to think of sex as something you do once you’re bonded and connected, men think of sex as part of the bonding and connecting process.
Most of the confusion and hurt between men and women come from that.

Find out what pisses men off.
For example, sperm-jacking.
Do you know what that is? It’s when a woman deceives a man so she can get pregnant with his sperm.
You’re snuggling close to a cute girl.
Her Victoria’s Secret lotion is making your heart beat faster.
She presses into your body.
You’re trying to focus on the movie, it’s a pretty good show, Dead Pool kicks ass, but now you’re hard, hot, and horny and nothing else matters anymore.
She says, “Do you have a condom?”
DAMN IT! Why didn’t a pick up a pack.
But, wait, she doesn’t care.
She tells you, you can just pull out.
Wait, but, wait, but, maybe a disease, a kid, hell no! I can’t afford kids, and do I really want her to be the mother of my children, what about my career, still want to visit New Orleans for Mardi Gras? Nah, I’m not ready.
“How about a blow job?”
No harm no foul, right?
Two weeks later you get slapped with a court summoned paternal test.
You’re the father! WHAT? How? It was just a blow job!
“Your honor I never had sex with her!”
The judge looks at you, then at her, nods his head, and says, “Should of thought that before you decided to GIFT her your semen.

Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Are you on bizarro land? Gift her your semen? Is that a thing in 2011?
You get drunk that night.
Stumble through the streets, watching the news play through store windows, hoping for a sympathetic ear, but all you get is, “You can't have sex, then claim you're "not ready" when, for whatever reason, a problem occurs.

Are you angry yet? If not, then keep reading articles you think males would rage over.

When I write about women, I think about what pisses them off.
I learn their language like stealthing- when a man removes a condom while having sex to impregnate his girlfriend without her consent – then I write the story when I feel her anger the most.
If you know someone’s anger, you’ll understand their hate.
And if you understand their hate, you can visualize their motivation.

Know well a variety of male humans of various ages, from various cultures and social classes, and don't rely on stereotypes to supply their motivations and responses.
Male writers use the same process to write female characters well: know some actual women as friends.
Oddly, though, most writers do a better job of writing outside their gender than they do of writing outside their social class and culture.
So many university writers can only write nonuniversity characters as shallow stereotypes.
They forget that working as a roofer or dishwasher or typist or waiter, then keeping the friends made on the job, are vital parts of becoming a fiction writer.

It’s the same thing with guys writing girls.
A good, strong character should be the same if you switch genders.
If your character’s personality depends on their gender, then you’re doing it wrong.
That being said, guys tend to be more about fighting with strength, while girls tend to fight more with words.
Yes, it sounds stereotypical, but stereotypes come from somewhere.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a diplomatic male nor a warrior female, just that societal norms affect them in that way in most cases.
I would study psychology and gender differences (not the biased/agenda-filled classes, I mean the ones that are simply about the facts), however you don’t have to.
If you really want to, ask a trusted guy-friend and/or boyfriend/husband if your character seems realistic.
Guys and girls aren’t too different.

There is no such thing as a “male point of view.
” Indeed, in and context outside of a theoretical conversation about creative writing, the idea of a “male point of view” is as sexist as talking about “what women want.

Individual characters have points of view.
Write your character's point of view from who they are.
Gender and gender relations may or may not be significant in that, but it should not be a point of departure.
Worry a lot more about what you know about the character's personal history, their qualities, their values, their desires.
Some of those will be affected by gender, but not based upon it.

Before you think about writing them, you really have to put yourself in the shoes of a man.
One issue is that many men are written as one dimensional.
They are aggressive, a very “manly” man.
Or, they are written with a sort of pushover characteristic.
They are outcasts and the female lead feels bad for them, helps them, etc.
You need to break from these stereotypes and develop a round rather than flat character.
Consider forgetting about their gender temporarily.
Write them as you would a female, but GENERALLY, make them a bit less emotional.
Men really aren’t that different than women.

Place yourself in a males a shoes.
How do men think? I’ve done it with writing pop song lyrics, imagined a girl’s perspective on them.
I’m sure you know or have an inkling of how you think men think? Use it! As a female writer you already have a leg up on a male writer, it’s called women’s intuition, use it! Enjoy! Robert

Ii will add a non-answer.
They went on a date, it went great, he said he would call her, then he didn’t.
Possible male behavior, and she dealt with it.
The thing is, he was just a plot device.
I never thought about why he didn’t call.
And when I did, that improved a lot.
So, don’t think of your males as plot devices.
Just trying to take their point of view will help.

How can I, as a female writer, write realistically from a male point of view?

I have a colleague who likes to play a guessing game: whenever we are grading papers and find a good student he claims that he can guess whether this is a man or a woman before looking at the name, because, even when writing objectively, something of our gender is hardwired into our style.
The same colleague has often raised the question of whether we really can write convincingly in the voice of the opposite gender, because don’t we just project our fantasies of what a man or woman could be like onto a character?
In some ways I think writers do do this.
Charlotte and Emily Bronte were clearly a bit infatuated with the stereotype of the overly severe, brooding man, something that the more realistic Anne evidently didn’t share:
Indeed, Tolstoy and Flaubert (and countless other male writers) were drawn to the overly sensual and attractive female figure who cannot help but give in to her desires.
She is a tragic figure but she is also particularly appealing to men…there are other ways in which a woman could be tragic that such writers never really explored.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with that though: a writer is always standing half outside of a character, providing us with one angle on who the person is.
Can we really get entirely into anyone’s head even when we are writing in their words, be they male or female? All that we can do provide is impressions.
It is possible that my colleague is right – that for whatever reason, social or genetic, we can’t escape our gender in our language and in our thoughts.
My advice would be to embrace that.
Don’t worry too much about whether a man is ‘convincingly male’.
Worry more about whether his words come naturally, whether he feels real to you.
Because, if he does, the chances are that he will feel real to countless others as well.
That is why Heathcliff may or may not be exaggerated but certainly is hauntingly alive.
It’s why the gorgeous and seductive Francesca in the fifth circle of Dante’s hell continues to haunt and to draw us all with her words:
"Love, that can quickly seize the gentle heart,
 took hold of him because of the fair body
 taken from me – how that was done still wounds me.

 Love, that releases no beloved from loving,
 took hold of me so strongly through his beauty
 that, as you see, it has not left me yet.

 Love led the two of us unto one death.

 Caina waits for him who took our life.
" (Inf.
V, 100-107)

How can I, as a female writer, write realistically from a male point of view?
What do you think J.
K.
Rowling did when she (note the female pronoun!) wrote “Harry Potter”?? I seem to recall that series was somewhat successful.
:)
She has an interesting quote about this.
She said that if she wrote a female lead for a YA novel, then girls would read it but boys wouldn’t.
But if she wrote a male lead, then both boys and girls would read it.
But as for specific writing advice, consider this… This actually came up at my last writer’s critique group.
Do males think of themselves primarily as people, and only secondly as males, or vice-versa? And how do women view themselves?
And the opinion of most was that males are more likely to think of themselves as just people, most of the time, whereas it’s more common for women to rarely forget their gender.
That is, if you walk around in a male body, it’s common to think of yourself as just “a guy” rather than a “male guy,” until someone reminds you of that fact or you look in the mirror.
Obviously, that’s not true all the time.
There are plenty of situations where you have to identify yourself as belonging to this gender or that.
And anyone who is not secure in their sexuality may obssess about their gender identity.
But those of us who are more secure, think “I’m just a person” most of the time.
There is one very big exception to this.
As a dude, you’re not really biologically reminded of your gender most of the time… you can’t give birth, and you don’t have a monthly cycle.
But emotionally you are reminded.
This happens primarily in two situations:
Thats’ about it.
If you want to avoid cliches, have your male characters walk around just thinking of themselves as “a guy,” or rather “a person” — but a person who feels more outward pressure to compete, to win, and to get a girl than other humans do.
Also, we have just as many emotions as women do, but we’re not allowed to show them very much.
That makes good fodder for the really skilled writer of fiction and dramatic non-fiction.
To write a great male character, just write a character who inside is a cauldron of emotions but outwardly has to act brave, strong, and calm.
You’ll even see some of that in the way that JK Rowling characterized Harry Potter.
One other thing.
Males not only compete with each other, but do so very openly.
That is, males will confront each other and “get it over,” sometimes even going back to be friends with someone they had a gripe with.
I have heard that women, by contrast, compete and backstab just as much, but less openly and more subtely.
In cliche’ terms, men are knights, women diplomats, but both can be either good or bad.
Hope this helps.

I think I can answer this one.
:)
You see, my daytime work is an engineer.
And in our field, most of the key players are men.
With regards to the proportion of male to female, there are about 7 males to 1 female, and sometimes, the only female on the room (especially at meetings) is you.
(BTW, I do not mean to downgrade female capabilities, it is just my observation.
)
Aside from this, I am also a bit of a tomboy, engaging in activities that men are usually fond of: mountaineering, playing video games, etc.
And whenever I hike, there are only a handful of female participants.
I can only give you one advice, and this is important.
The only way for you to know them is to observe them.

No, you do not need to interact directly with them.
Just observe them.
And you will see the great difference as to how men are portrayed of.
Extra tip: If you are writing a romance novel, please do not put female attributes to men.
There are some exceptions (especially when they’re drunk), but most of them are not teary-eyed, affectionate, emotional human beings.
Most of them do not attend to empowerment meetings or watch tear-jerker movies.
They are okay with a football match, some popcorn, and a couple of beers to analyze and solve (sometimes escape) their problems.

Talk to people, read males writers, use your imagination.
I have the reverse, my writing is a gentle romance charting the lives and adventures of a young couple from their meeting and their developing relationship.
I have had three female acquaintances read it and all like it so I seem to be getting in right basing her on people I know, stories I have read and my imagination.
Men and women are basically the same, it is more important to be constant in how they react to situations rather than what that reaction is.
Stereotypically men tend to base responses on practical considerations and women on emotional ones, but some men are more emotionally based and some women practically so, just make them generally consistent, but not boring, everyone bowls a curved ball sometimes and acts unpredictably.
We are all individuals at the end of it all.
Happy to correspond by email if you want to run stuff past me, not than I am an expert writer, but I am a man!
I would caveat that I don't identify as alpha or beta male, more your lone wolf, I don't compete with other males, all that bullshit bores me, I plough my own furrow, don't give a damn if others like that or not, am quite detached from society, more an observer than a participant, probably helps in writing.
I play the game if I need to.

First off men are people with people feelings.
A lot of women forget that.
(Ditto with a lot of men about women)
Men have the same feelings, even if they don’t feel they can express them.
This can make the feelings even stronger.
Then those feelings get stepped on and reinforced because other people don’t know you’re having them.
Letting other people know can be seen as weak (by both men AND women).
Men live an ostracized life in comparison to women.
If my wife wears a funny T-shirt, she’ll have multiple people (men and women) comment on it and start a conversation over the course of the day.
I’ve worn the very same shirt dozens of times without a single comment or conversation.
When it comes to sex, while women may tend (making broad generalizations here! Mileage varies!) to think of sex as something you do once you’re bonded and connected, men think of sex as part of the bonding and connecting process.
Most of the confusion and hurt between men and women come from that.

Find out what pisses men off.
For example, sperm-jacking.
Do you know what that is? It’s when a woman deceives a man so she can get pregnant with his sperm.
You’re snuggling close to a cute girl.
Her Victoria’s Secret lotion is making your heart beat faster.
She presses into your body.
You’re trying to focus on the movie, it’s a pretty good show, Dead Pool kicks ass, but now you’re hard, hot, and horny and nothing else matters anymore.
She says, “Do you have a condom?”
DAMN IT! Why didn’t a pick up a pack.
But, wait, she doesn’t care.
She tells you, you can just pull out.
Wait, but, wait, but, maybe a disease, a kid, hell no! I can’t afford kids, and do I really want her to be the mother of my children, what about my career, still want to visit New Orleans for Mardi Gras? Nah, I’m not ready.
“How about a blow job?”
No harm no foul, right?
Two weeks later you get slapped with a court summoned paternal test.
You’re the father! WHAT? How? It was just a blow job!
“Your honor I never had sex with her!”
The judge looks at you, then at her, nods his head, and says, “Should of thought that before you decided to GIFT her your semen.

Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Are you on bizarro land? Gift her your semen? Is that a thing in 2011?
You get drunk that night.
Stumble through the streets, watching the news play through store windows, hoping for a sympathetic ear, but all you get is, “You can't have sex, then claim you're "not ready" when, for whatever reason, a problem occurs.

Are you angry yet? If not, then keep reading articles you think males would rage over.

When I write about women, I think about what pisses them off.
I learn their language like stealthing- when a man removes a condom while having sex to impregnate his girlfriend without her consent – then I write the story when I feel her anger the most.
If you know someone’s anger, you’ll understand their hate.
And if you understand their hate, you can visualize their motivation.

Know well a variety of male humans of various ages, from various cultures and social classes, and don't rely on stereotypes to supply their motivations and responses.
Male writers use the same process to write female characters well: know some actual women as friends.
Oddly, though, most writers do a better job of writing outside their gender than they do of writing outside their social class and culture.
So many university writers can only write nonuniversity characters as shallow stereotypes.
They forget that working as a roofer or dishwasher or typist or waiter, then keeping the friends made on the job, are vital parts of becoming a fiction writer.

It’s the same thing with guys writing girls.
A good, strong character should be the same if you switch genders.
If your character’s personality depends on their gender, then you’re doing it wrong.
That being said, guys tend to be more about fighting with strength, while girls tend to fight more with words.
Yes, it sounds stereotypical, but stereotypes come from somewhere.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a diplomatic male nor a warrior female, just that societal norms affect them in that way in most cases.
I would study psychology and gender differences (not the biased/agenda-filled classes, I mean the ones that are simply about the facts), however you don’t have to.
If you really want to, ask a trusted guy-friend and/or boyfriend/husband if your character seems realistic.
Guys and girls aren’t too different.

There is no such thing as a “male point of view.
” Indeed, in and context outside of a theoretical conversation about creative writing, the idea of a “male point of view” is as sexist as talking about “what women want.

Individual characters have points of view.
Write your character's point of view from who they are.
Gender and gender relations may or may not be significant in that, but it should not be a point of departure.
Worry a lot more about what you know about the character's personal history, their qualities, their values, their desires.
Some of those will be affected by gender, but not based upon it.

Before you think about writing them, you really have to put yourself in the shoes of a man.
One issue is that many men are written as one dimensional.
They are aggressive, a very “manly” man.
Or, they are written with a sort of pushover characteristic.
They are outcasts and the female lead feels bad for them, helps them, etc.
You need to break from these stereotypes and develop a round rather than flat character.
Consider forgetting about their gender temporarily.
Write them as you would a female, but GENERALLY, make them a bit less emotional.
Men really aren’t that different than women.

Place yourself in a males a shoes.
How do men think? I’ve done it with writing pop song lyrics, imagined a girl’s perspective on them.
I’m sure you know or have an inkling of how you think men think? Use it! As a female writer you already have a leg up on a male writer, it’s called women’s intuition, use it! Enjoy! Robert

Ii will add a non-answer.
They went on a date, it went great, he said he would call her, then he didn’t.
Possible male behavior, and she dealt with it.
The thing is, he was just a plot device.
I never thought about why he didn’t call.
And when I did, that improved a lot.
So, don’t think of your males as plot devices.
Just trying to take their point of view will help.

How can I, as a female writer, write realistically from a male point of view?

I have a colleague who likes to play a guessing game: whenever we are grading papers and find a good student he claims that he can guess whether this is a man or a woman before looking at the name, because, even when writing objectively, something of our gender is hardwired into our style.
The same colleague has often raised the question of whether we really can write convincingly in the voice of the opposite gender, because don’t we just project our fantasies of what a man or woman could be like onto a character?
In some ways I think writers do do this.
Charlotte and Emily Bronte were clearly a bit infatuated with the stereotype of the overly severe, brooding man, something that the more realistic Anne evidently didn’t share:
Indeed, Tolstoy and Flaubert (and countless other male writers) were drawn to the overly sensual and attractive female figure who cannot help but give in to her desires.
She is a tragic figure but she is also particularly appealing to men…there are other ways in which a woman could be tragic that such writers never really explored.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with that though: a writer is always standing half outside of a character, providing us with one angle on who the person is.
Can we really get entirely into anyone’s head even when we are writing in their words, be they male or female? All that we can do provide is impressions.
It is possible that my colleague is right – that for whatever reason, social or genetic, we can’t escape our gender in our language and in our thoughts.
My advice would be to embrace that.
Don’t worry too much about whether a man is ‘convincingly male’.
Worry more about whether his words come naturally, whether he feels real to you.
Because, if he does, the chances are that he will feel real to countless others as well.
That is why Heathcliff may or may not be exaggerated but certainly is hauntingly alive.
It’s why the gorgeous and seductive Francesca in the fifth circle of Dante’s hell continues to haunt and to draw us all with her words:
"Love, that can quickly seize the gentle heart,
 took hold of him because of the fair body
 taken from me – how that was done still wounds me.

 Love, that releases no beloved from loving,
 took hold of me so strongly through his beauty
 that, as you see, it has not left me yet.

 Love led the two of us unto one death.

 Caina waits for him who took our life.
" (Inf.
V, 100-107)

How can I, as a female writer, write realistically from a male point of view?
What do you think J.
K.
Rowling did when she (note the female pronoun!) wrote “Harry Potter”?? I seem to recall that series was somewhat successful.
:)
She has an interesting quote about this.
She said that if she wrote a female lead for a YA novel, then girls would read it but boys wouldn’t.
But if she wrote a male lead, then both boys and girls would read it.
But as for specific writing advice, consider this… This actually came up at my last writer’s critique group.
Do males think of themselves primarily as people, and only secondly as males, or vice-versa? And how do women view themselves?
And the opinion of most was that males are more likely to think of themselves as just people, most of the time, whereas it’s more common for women to rarely forget their gender.
That is, if you walk around in a male body, it’s common to think of yourself as just “a guy” rather than a “male guy,” until someone reminds you of that fact or you look in the mirror.
Obviously, that’s not true all the time.
There are plenty of situations where you have to identify yourself as belonging to this gender or that.
And anyone who is not secure in their sexuality may obssess about their gender identity.
But those of us who are more secure, think “I’m just a person” most of the time.
There is one very big exception to this.
As a dude, you’re not really biologically reminded of your gender most of the time… you can’t give birth, and you don’t have a monthly cycle.
But emotionally you are reminded.
This happens primarily in two situations:
Thats’ about it.
If you want to avoid cliches, have your male characters walk around just thinking of themselves as “a guy,” or rather “a person” — but a person who feels more outward pressure to compete, to win, and to get a girl than other humans do.
Also, we have just as many emotions as women do, but we’re not allowed to show them very much.
That makes good fodder for the really skilled writer of fiction and dramatic non-fiction.
To write a great male character, just write a character who inside is a cauldron of emotions but outwardly has to act brave, strong, and calm.
You’ll even see some of that in the way that JK Rowling characterized Harry Potter.
One other thing.
Males not only compete with each other, but do so very openly.
That is, males will confront each other and “get it over,” sometimes even going back to be friends with someone they had a gripe with.
I have heard that women, by contrast, compete and backstab just as much, but less openly and more subtely.
In cliche’ terms, men are knights, women diplomats, but both can be either good or bad.
Hope this helps.

I think I can answer this one.
:)
You see, my daytime work is an engineer.
And in our field, most of the key players are men.
With regards to the proportion of male to female, there are about 7 males to 1 female, and sometimes, the only female on the room (especially at meetings) is you.
(BTW, I do not mean to downgrade female capabilities, it is just my observation.
)
Aside from this, I am also a bit of a tomboy, engaging in activities that men are usually fond of: mountaineering, playing video games, etc.
And whenever I hike, there are only a handful of female participants.
I can only give you one advice, and this is important.
The only way for you to know them is to observe them.

No, you do not need to interact directly with them.
Just observe them.
And you will see the great difference as to how men are portrayed of.
Extra tip: If you are writing a romance novel, please do not put female attributes to men.
There are some exceptions (especially when they’re drunk), but most of them are not teary-eyed, affectionate, emotional human beings.
Most of them do not attend to empowerment meetings or watch tear-jerker movies.
They are okay with a football match, some popcorn, and a couple of beers to analyze and solve (sometimes escape) their problems.

Talk to people, read males writers, use your imagination.
I have the reverse, my writing is a gentle romance charting the lives and adventures of a young couple from their meeting and their developing relationship.
I have had three female acquaintances read it and all like it so I seem to be getting in right basing her on people I know, stories I have read and my imagination.
Men and women are basically the same, it is more important to be constant in how they react to situations rather than what that reaction is.
Stereotypically men tend to base responses on practical considerations and women on emotional ones, but some men are more emotionally based and some women practically so, just make them generally consistent, but not boring, everyone bowls a curved ball sometimes and acts unpredictably.
We are all individuals at the end of it all.
Happy to correspond by email if you want to run stuff past me, not than I am an expert writer, but I am a man!
I would caveat that I don't identify as alpha or beta male, more your lone wolf, I don't compete with other males, all that bullshit bores me, I plough my own furrow, don't give a damn if others like that or not, am quite detached from society, more an observer than a participant, probably helps in writing.
I play the game if I need to.

First off men are people with people feelings.
A lot of women forget that.
(Ditto with a lot of men about women)
Men have the same feelings, even if they don’t feel they can express them.
This can make the feelings even stronger.
Then those feelings get stepped on and reinforced because other people don’t know you’re having them.
Letting other people know can be seen as weak (by both men AND women).
Men live an ostracized life in comparison to women.
If my wife wears a funny T-shirt, she’ll have multiple people (men and women) comment on it and start a conversation over the course of the day.
I’ve worn the very same shirt dozens of times without a single comment or conversation.
When it comes to sex, while women may tend (making broad generalizations here! Mileage varies!) to think of sex as something you do once you’re bonded and connected, men think of sex as part of the bonding and connecting process.
Most of the confusion and hurt between men and women come from that.

Find out what pisses men off.
For example, sperm-jacking.
Do you know what that is? It’s when a woman deceives a man so she can get pregnant with his sperm.
You’re snuggling close to a cute girl.
Her Victoria’s Secret lotion is making your heart beat faster.
She presses into your body.
You’re trying to focus on the movie, it’s a pretty good show, Dead Pool kicks ass, but now you’re hard, hot, and horny and nothing else matters anymore.
She says, “Do you have a condom?”
DAMN IT! Why didn’t a pick up a pack.
But, wait, she doesn’t care.
She tells you, you can just pull out.
Wait, but, wait, but, maybe a disease, a kid, hell no! I can’t afford kids, and do I really want her to be the mother of my children, what about my career, still want to visit New Orleans for Mardi Gras? Nah, I’m not ready.
“How about a blow job?”
No harm no foul, right?
Two weeks later you get slapped with a court summoned paternal test.
You’re the father! WHAT? How? It was just a blow job!
“Your honor I never had sex with her!”
The judge looks at you, then at her, nods his head, and says, “Should of thought that before you decided to GIFT her your semen.

Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Are you on bizarro land? Gift her your semen? Is that a thing in 2011?
You get drunk that night.
Stumble through the streets, watching the news play through store windows, hoping for a sympathetic ear, but all you get is, “You can't have sex, then claim you're "not ready" when, for whatever reason, a problem occurs.

Are you angry yet? If not, then keep reading articles you think males would rage over.

When I write about women, I think about what pisses them off.
I learn their language like stealthing- when a man removes a condom while having sex to impregnate his girlfriend without her consent – then I write the story when I feel her anger the most.
If you know someone’s anger, you’ll understand their hate.
And if you understand their hate, you can visualize their motivation.

Know well a variety of male humans of various ages, from various cultures and social classes, and don't rely on stereotypes to supply their motivations and responses.
Male writers use the same process to write female characters well: know some actual women as friends.
Oddly, though, most writers do a better job of writing outside their gender than they do of writing outside their social class and culture.
So many university writers can only write nonuniversity characters as shallow stereotypes.
They forget that working as a roofer or dishwasher or typist or waiter, then keeping the friends made on the job, are vital parts of becoming a fiction writer.

It’s the same thing with guys writing girls.
A good, strong character should be the same if you switch genders.
If your character’s personality depends on their gender, then you’re doing it wrong.
That being said, guys tend to be more about fighting with strength, while girls tend to fight more with words.
Yes, it sounds stereotypical, but stereotypes come from somewhere.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a diplomatic male nor a warrior female, just that societal norms affect them in that way in most cases.
I would study psychology and gender differences (not the biased/agenda-filled classes, I mean the ones that are simply about the facts), however you don’t have to.
If you really want to, ask a trusted guy-friend and/or boyfriend/husband if your character seems realistic.
Guys and girls aren’t too different.

There is no such thing as a “male point of view.
” Indeed, in and context outside of a theoretical conversation about creative writing, the idea of a “male point of view” is as sexist as talking about “what women want.

Individual characters have points of view.
Write your character's point of view from who they are.
Gender and gender relations may or may not be significant in that, but it should not be a point of departure.
Worry a lot more about what you know about the character's personal history, their qualities, their values, their desires.
Some of those will be affected by gender, but not based upon it.

Before you think about writing them, you really have to put yourself in the shoes of a man.
One issue is that many men are written as one dimensional.
They are aggressive, a very “manly” man.
Or, they are written with a sort of pushover characteristic.
They are outcasts and the female lead feels bad for them, helps them, etc.
You need to break from these stereotypes and develop a round rather than flat character.
Consider forgetting about their gender temporarily.
Write them as you would a female, but GENERALLY, make them a bit less emotional.
Men really aren’t that different than women.

Place yourself in a males a shoes.
How do men think? I’ve done it with writing pop song lyrics, imagined a girl’s perspective on them.
I’m sure you know or have an inkling of how you think men think? Use it! As a female writer you already have a leg up on a male writer, it’s called women’s intuition, use it! Enjoy! Robert

Ii will add a non-answer.
They went on a date, it went great, he said he would call her, then he didn’t.
Possible male behavior, and she dealt with it.
The thing is, he was just a plot device.
I never thought about why he didn’t call.
And when I did, that improved a lot.
So, don’t think of your males as plot devices.
Just trying to take their point of view will help.

Updated: 21.06.2019 — 10:00 am

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